I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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