threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
