I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
