i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
