Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
