you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
