Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
