I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
