my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So much rum. So many feels.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
