she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
