is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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