btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
