Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm gonna have a badass scar
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize