at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This toilet bowl is my home.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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