I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
