it wasn't lemon gatorade
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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