You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
