i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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