Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
