Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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