You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
3pm strippers are depressing
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
