FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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