operation harelip BJ is a go
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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