He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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