Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
bring money and cleavage
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
