my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
