Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
