those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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