god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
