Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
