How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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