you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
