Pappa wants mamma naked
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
