i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
