you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
