Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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