if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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