if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
