Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
