It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
