I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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