Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
