Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Two words: blizzard sex
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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