Porn is love you can see.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize