i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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