we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
