Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
