I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
