just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
