I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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