i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
