I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
