You work out of a Hotel?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
