hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
