I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
