He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize