I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
it's like heaven, but drunker
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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