there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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