Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
