dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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