The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I did not marry a roomba.
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