He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
