"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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