i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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