You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
