If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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