Dual....:-)
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
